Get ready to navigate the holidays with your family and the older adults in your life. It pays to be prepared.
- DON’T Expect a Brady Bunch Gathering by pushing for everyone in the family to visit at the exact same time. This can be overwhelming for older adults who may be managing injury recovery, memory loss, difficulty leaving the house or running errands, energy limitations due to age or disability, and not wanting to disappoint their adult children, grandchildren, or nieces/nephews.
- DO consider spacing out visits with other family members to see your older adult loved ones. For example, maybe your brother visits in mid-November, your sister comes at Thanksgiving, and you and your aunt visit for Christmas.
- DON’T Keep a Fast-and-Furious Pace of holiday events and traditions. This can cause exhaustion and disrupt sleep routines, which often negatively impacts older adults.
- DO respect your older adult’s boundaries when it comes to their usual bedtime and wake-up times. Sleep can greatly affect a person’s energy, social stamina, and mood. Even if you’ve always done things a certain way (i.e., dinner at 7 pm, games, cookies, then a midnight religious service), it’s okay to change up the routine to accommodate both young and older family members who may not do as well with a fast-and-furious pace. Maybe it also means giving grandma her own hotel room so that she can sleep soundly rather than hear your partner snore.
- DO suggest “resting hours” during the family gathering, for example between 2 and 5pm. This gives everyone a chance to take a break, nap, and ramp up more energy for the evening meal and activities.
- DON’T Overlook Your Loved One’s Physical, Hearing, or Visual Challenges during quality time together. Examples include using hard-to-see playing cards, planning long walks to places or events you are attending, or going to noisy restaurants when loved ones have hearing impairments.
- DO opt for large print playing cards or games that are easier to see.
- DO choose quieter restaurants or request a private room for your family gathering. Seat your older loved ones near the family members they most want to talk to.
- If mobility is an issue, DO purchase a transport chair, or if they use a cane or walker, only choose places that have a short entrance to walk to. Look for things like stairs, handrails, grab bars, and remove throw rugs to ensure the space is safe and easy to navigate.
- DON’T Expect the Older Adult (If Hosting) To Handle Most or All of the Cooking. This can be physically demanding and stressful.
- DO plan to order a meal or side dishes from local suppliers, like a grocery store or meal delivery service.
- DO plan to cook the main meal on a day when you’re there and take care of the grocery shopping yourself. Rather than asking, “Can I help with food?” try suggesting, “I’d like to make dinner on Thursday night. Would you prefer spaghetti or lasagna?”
- DON’T Say “You Told Me That Already!” Our loved ones may have memory loss, whether it’s from normal aging or a condition like dementia. Parts of their brain may not be working perfectly all the time, so they might tell the same stories or ask the same questions repeatedly.
- DO Give Them Grace and Exercise Patience. If you know your uncle tends to repeat himself and tell the same stories, be patient and respond with interest instead of irritation.
This guest blog was written by Jenny Reynolds, MSW, LCSW, CMC, who is an Aging Life Care Specialist. Her passion and goal in her social work career is to honor older adults as they age and support & guide them on the challenging walk through later life. Her specialty area is working with busy professionals who are caring for their aging loved ones who have dementia or other significant medical or mental health issues. She is owner of her own geriatric care management business called Graceful Guidance Care Management. She has 16-years experience working with older adults, physicians, provider agencies, and families in the care management field. Jenny brings a positive and upbeat approach to her work and the clients that she serves.
Website: www.jennythecaremanager.com
Email: GracefulGuidanceCM@gmail.com
Phone: 303-204-9406
Want more information on how to get through the holidays? Check out Resilience While Grieving During the Holidays: 8 Ways to Navigate This Season & Find Solace
