Adulting is hard! Remember those carefree days of childhood, when our biggest concerns were whether we’d finish our homework in time to catch our favorite TV show or what flavor of ice cream to choose at the park? It’s a nostalgic thought, one that often makes us smile as we reflect on the innocence and simplicity of those times. Yet, somewhere along the way, a transition occurs that we eagerly anticipate as kids, but eventually come to realize is much more challenging than we ever imagined – the transition into adulthood.
The allure of growing up is undeniable. As children, we often yearn for the day when we can make our own choices, decide our own bedtime, and perhaps even drive a car. We look up to adults, admiring their independence and autonomy. But what we don’t fully grasp in those moments of childhood longing is the nuanced nature of the choices and responsibilities that await us in the realm of adulthood.
Adulting isn’t for the faint of heart
“Adulting is hard,” or something similar, is a statement we’ve all likely uttered at some point in our lives. It is a sentiment that captures the multifaceted challenges that come with the territory of adulthood. The romanticized notion of adult life, where we imagine ourselves effortlessly making decisions and steering the course of our lives, often collides with the reality of bills to pay, appointments to keep, and an array of obligations that extend beyond our own desires.
One of the intriguing aspects of this phenomenon is the stark contrast between the perception of adulthood from a child’s perspective and the actual experience of being an adult. As kids, we often think of adulthood as a destination – a place where we’ll have all the answers, be in control, and have the freedom to do as we please. We envision ourselves as the protagonists of our own stories, confidently navigating through the narrative of life. However, the reality is far more complex.
How to make adulting feel better
In his book “The Happiness Advantage,” positive psychology researcher Shawn Achor delves into the concept of mindset and its impact on our overall well-being. Achor emphasizes that while circumstances do play a role in our lives, it’s our mindset that ultimately shapes our experiences. This concept becomes particularly relevant in the context of adulting. The transition to adulthood is not just about the external responsibilities and decisions; it’s about how we perceive and approach them.
Achor introduces the idea of the “fulcrum and the lever” – a metaphor for how our mindset can either magnify or mitigate the challenges we face. Just like a lever, our mindset has the power to amplify the impact of the circumstances we encounter.
If we approach adulting with a negative mindset, viewing it solely as a burden and a series of unpleasant tasks, we’re effectively making the lever longer, requiring more effort to move the weight. On the other hand, if we adopt a positive and resilient mindset, we can use the lever more efficiently, making it easier to navigate the challenges and find the silver linings in them.
This notion ties back to the paradox of adulting – the realization that while we yearned for the autonomy and independence of adulthood, the choices that come with it are far from black and white. As adults, we’re faced with decisions that are often shrouded in shades of gray. The choices we make can impact not only our own lives but also those of the people around us. From financial decisions to career paths, from relationship dynamics to personal growth pursuits, the choices are rarely straightforward.
Consider the financial aspect of adulting. Paying bills is a quintessential responsibility that adults bear, but the decision-making process extends far beyond simply settling accounts. We’re tasked with budgeting, saving, investing, and planning for the future.
These choices require us to weigh short-term desires against long-term goals, and they can be influenced by economic uncertainties and unexpected expenses. The complexity of these decisions highlights the need for a balanced and informed approach, guided by a positive mindset that seeks opportunities for growth and financial well-being.
Furthermore, adulting often involves taking care of others – whether it’s our children, aging parents, or even our partners. This added layer of responsibility can sometimes leave us feeling like we’re at the bottom of our own care list.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of prioritizing the needs of others to the detriment of our own well-being. Achor’s research underscores the importance of self-care and a positive outlook, suggesting that taking care of ourselves mentally and emotionally can enhance our ability to fulfill our responsibilities to others.
The journey of adulting is a continuous process of learning and adaptation. It’s about realizing that the decisions we make are not isolated incidents but interconnected threads that weave the fabric of our lives. Each choice has the potential to shape our future and influence the quality of our overall well-being. Embracing the complexity of adulting requires a mindset that acknowledges the challenges while seeking out the opportunities for growth, learning, and happiness.
The idea of adulting being hard is not an exaggeration; it’s a reality that many of us face. The transition from childhood to adulthood involves a paradigm shift in responsibilities and choices. The decisions we make are often nuanced and multifaceted, requiring us to consider the impact on various aspects of our lives.
Shawn Achor’s insights from “The Happiness Advantage” remind us that our mindset plays a crucial role in how we perceive and navigate these challenges. By cultivating a positive and resilient mindset, we can approach adulting as an opportunity for growth, learning, and ultimately, a fulfilling life journey. So, as we navigate the intricate web of adult decisions, let’s remember that while it may be challenging, it’s also a chapter brimming with potential and possibilities.
If you need help with the stress of adulting, reach out to us. Our team of experienced counselors and therapists are ready to support you.